When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

Firstly of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Basic issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there isn’t a denying that sober curiosity has elevated lately. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and analyzing their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. Immediately we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however actually not the questions on what we are able to do if we’re fascinated by a sober (fully alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we strategy ingesting as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I feel it’s a really private choice, however in case you’re any sort of an everyday drinker (that means three or 4 nights per week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the best way you are feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other approach. If you happen to’re not ingesting throughout the week, however then ingesting a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the possibility to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her ebook, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of selection for at the least 4 weeks provides clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely isn’t doable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you don’t have any concept how shitty you actually really feel while you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you are feeling shitty. It normally takes a number of weeks in your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there concerns/greatest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually relies on what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to simply see in case you may make it with out ingesting for 30 days? Or have been you in search of actual well being advantages? Or did you notice that your ingesting has elevated over the previous few years and you recognize you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is actually what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. If you happen to spend numerous time bargaining with your self every time alcohol is concerned, which results in numerous “guidelines” round your ingesting, you would possibly need to take a step again.

You may not even pay attention to these guidelines. They’ve simply change into a part of your inside chatter. That chatter would possibly sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No ingesting earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No exhausting alcohol throughout the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and so on.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on per week evening.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The top days of my ingesting have been stuffed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that have been always shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down day by day, and that sort of self-disappointment was like a continuing stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your ingesting. You would possibly simply resolve that it’s not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this considering “I should not have an issue with my alcohol consumption however need to take a extra aware strategy to what I eat/drink,” what questions ought to be explored when fascinated by alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round ingesting and the assumption that there are “downside drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and real looking, mannequin to make use of in relation to speaking about alcohol is the concept of ingesting occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the concept of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The fantastic thing about this mannequin is that you just don’t must hit any kind of a all-time low earlier than you may discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to resolve at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

If you happen to’re able to get trustworthy with the function alcohol performs in your life, I’d counsel sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get interested by your self, and take the time to reply truthfully. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to suppose. That is about you and the one life that you’ve, and whether or not or not you desire a poisonous substance to play a task within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does ingesting align with the individual I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this state of affairs?

Tam: What if our associates have gone again to ingesting after Dry January, however we try to proceed. Do you have got recommendations/suggestions for the way to make this a part of my life-style with my ingesting associates? 

Krysty: You would possibly want to search out new associates – haha. However, critically, if your mates actually respect and help you within the selections you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re regularly attempting to push you to start out ingesting once more, whining that you just’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila received’t do any hurt, then you definitely would possibly must rethink who you’re spending time with. You’ll want to work out for your self what you need to do with the time that you’ve, and the folks you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your buddy group is closely immersed in ingesting tradition – that means most social actions revolve round alcohol – then you definitely would possibly want to search out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to interchange that Friday evening cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m essentially the most primary sober individual round – and I’m proud of ingesting a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that folks have completely different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing a bit extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on hearth! There are such a lot of merchandise in the marketplace – suppose flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually may go on and on. I’m regularly impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Entire Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle outlets are beginning to provide such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. If you happen to’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s sort of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you would possibly need to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and keep a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam